All of the moments...

Saturday, April 02, 2005

i will fang xia soon... or perhaps now!~

我喜歡
作詞:娃娃 作曲:陶喆

我站著,我坐著,我走著,我盼望著,心跳已經飛了。
我知道,我想這個 一個快樂的我,就在什麼地方。
在快速生活找到一些從容 在複雜世界擁有一點天真

我 喜歡這樣的感覺,我只想要簡單的快樂
希 望和你一起擁有,輕輕鬆鬆的享受
常常歡笑,做個好朋友。 嗚~~~耶

我看著 每條街 走在那 大街的人 他們在想什麼。
燦爛的 陽光下 解放了 心中的我 這一刻放輕鬆。
在快速生活找到一些從容 在複雜世界擁有一點天真

我 喜歡這樣的感覺,我只想要簡單的快樂
希 望和你一起擁有,輕輕鬆鬆的享受
我 喜歡開心的感覺,給好心情留一個角落 想 想過去,
想想未來,回到最初的感動

常常歡笑,我的好朋友。
我喜歡這種感覺(喜歡開心的感覺)

this song perhaps totally describe how i want how i yearned to have... i reallie have to just stop thinking... hmm.. actuali i'm not thinking now.. okies i reallie dunno how to type it out...

you see...at ferst i had alreadi totalli stop liking him coz of alot alot of things and actualli "hated" at a point of time, but things realie got betta when school reopened... perhaps bridge was one reason why.... and we began to tok like wad we used to do... and that period of time, i reallie have no feelings towards him at all...

den came the chinese results... which was so disheartening... i reallie needed sum1 fer mi to sms to pour up my sadness to tt nite and i dunno why, i just happened to sms him... a terrible mi... a reallie depressed side of mi which i had nv want ani1 to noe... i dunno y..but i reallie needed sum ppl to tok to... after i press the send button i regretted immediately... and the next day... i continued to tell him all about my troubles on msn... and after toking to him, i realie felt betta... thanks loads fer providing tt listening ear.. i appreciated loads...

but... my bu zheng qi e heart melted again... sumhow.... but i din't show it... or perhaps i din't realise it den

den at a point of time... he was telling me bout his sadness too.. about how he felt hurted by another ger... and how he felt inconfident he was... i could just give him encouragement.. which i tink it din't help at all... felt quite shi bai... why he could help mi tide over my lowest point and why i can't just make him feel the same thing

i realise i was falling fer him again... but i dun want it... initialli, i just tot mabbe i just an lian him fer a short while... an lian is better as in more of infactuations... coz when u see him u are happi... and when he's happi u are happi too and you wldn't care bother about anithing else... but it just wunt do... coz i was seeing him omost everyday and i just can't lock my heart sumhow... no matter how hard i tried....

den came hols...din't meet each other tt often, a few times though... but everynite....dreams tend to haunt mi...good and bad ones..... hais.. issit coz i keep thinking of him....no~~ i alreadi tried not to think... den how it turned up tt way.... i reallie dunno how to handle it during the hols...no1 to tok bout this to... reallie no1.. wanted to tell jansen at ferst...yet he so cranky at tt time... so came this day... i chatted on msn fer a long time..coz i reallie dun dare to go n slp...afraid the "dreams" will come back again... and actualli got a bad scolding n attitude from my mum... i wass so angry so pissed so confused so luan4 mixed feelings so down.... but "he" still lingers in my mind...which makes mi feel even worse... den i decided to end it by telling how i feel...and hopefully after sending the sms i will just fang xia... tt's a wildful tot a stupid childish move wishful thinking that i will fang xia so easily..a lousy me...a blur mi... an unawake mi.. but at tt time i got nth betta to do to end this... and i was thinking he will definiteli not reply back... and i will have 4 days to ferget it coz i wunt b seeing him oso....

the next day morning, when i am reallie awake, i realli regretted pressing the send button again... den i saw jansen online and told him all that i had done... felt betta after telling him all of tt... thanks grandson fer listening to my troubles....

in the evening, i received his sms, which i can still remember vaguely.... but when i receive the sms, i was quite happi... actualli was realie happi... coz i tot i reallie fangxia le.... and tt our frenship is still sustained even after that stupid sms tt i had accidentalli sent..... okie....

but the happiness did not last long.... the next day....i shan't elaborate too much....hmmm.. yar..i met him with sum others... den the feeling came back again... haiss...tt's damn sad... fang xia isn't easy at all..... but its vv mild this time.... den i told zirui oso...cuz i can't take it le at a point....

hmm..now in school...everything seems normal... we are still frens who say hi to each other.... but inside me...all had changed... i dunno... perhaps we can't be tt close anymore... can't pour out sorrows/happiness to each other nimores...even when i'm upset, he wunt be the one i tok to le.. perhaps i just dun dare... even on msn... sumhow i lost topic to tok to him about animores... i still can luff when he's around...and when he's around..seriousli i feel nth at all...but when on msn, when i see his nick online...i will auto msg him...and will b sad when he replied short ans or nv reply... yea..n i deleted his nick, or put it sumwhere else so tt i wldn't see... but when i feel that we are still frens, i feel bad doing so... i tried all means to fang xia le... i tried not to msg him on msn le.... but its just hard.... it takes time... all these are all in my mind and i can't get it off..... its just in the song... how i actualli want things to be... hope everything will turn betta...=pP yar much much betta.... hopefully... now i have fang xia le!!!~ jansen zirui: u all owe mi a meal le=pPp
i finally done what i shld do!

no matter wad, i still treasure him as one of my best frens...

i dunnno if i shld post this....... haix....

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